Monday, August 31, 2009

Two weeks after we had broken off a one and a half year relationship, my best friend had sex with my ex. She has always been rather selfish and putting casual affairs before the feelings of other people has always been a habit of hers. I just never thought she would do that to me.

I thought that she loved me because she kept saying she did. I thought that she understood me because she was always putting words to my emotions before I knew how to myself. I thought that nothing could ever come between us. She was my rock and my mentor, someone to turn to when things got tough beyond comprehension and there was nothing to do but lean against her and hope I would be okay. She was there but she used it against me. She would always make me feel bad for not being as harsh or as outspoken. With a glance or a quick phrase she could make me feel like a fake. Even so, she always stood beside me. Over the years, she came to mean more to me than my family and that particular boyfriend. We grew together like vines. And I kept telling myself that it was worth it.

But she knew it would break my heart and she did it anyway. She valued cheap, drunken sex with a guy she didn't care about higher than our friendship. And then she went on to acting as if it wasn't a big deal.

I made the decision not to forgive her. I gathered up the pieces, said my goodbyes, and left. Skipped town, erased her number. It was the hardest thing I have ever done but I know I'm a stronger person for it. Each day is a battle but for the first time I'm winning more than I'm losing. And I'm a better person without her.

Female, 20.


Anonymous said...

wow...with some minor changes, i felt like i could've written that myself. Sorry you had to go through this Anon, but i'm glad you realize that you're a better person because of it. Hope everything is well <3

Anonymous said...

I had a friend like this, she was closer to me than my own sister....only she slept with my ex husband who is also the father of my daughter. She is the "godmother" of my daughter and I her daughter.
It has been many years since then, my daughter was 3 or 4 at the time...she is now going to be 12 yrs old. I still hate her for her actions and that has not lessened over time. And I still miss my goddaughter....but I realize that her actions actually helped free me from a life that my daughter and I didn't deserve.
You see not only did he cheat on me but he cheated on her too with more than one woman...Karma i think.
Anyhoo I have remarried to a wonderful man and we have not 1 but 2 daughters together, my oldest wanting to take my husband's last name as her "father" has little to do with her.
He did tho a few years ago ( I have been remarried 2 years) tell me that I would always have a piece of his heart as he felt weird that I was getting remarried...I told him that my heart belongs to my husband and children and he is no longer part of our lives. AGAIN....Karma i think