Wednesday, August 15, 2012

It was the day a random person told me he will NEVER forgive his mother for letting his father beat her all them years. That she should have been strong enough to leave.

That is the moment I decided either I die at his hand, or I leave.

I left, its been 4 years. I lived in a shelter with my children for a while, but got on my feet. I am now graduating college and getting married to the man I deserved many years ago. One who respects me and my decisions and supports all of them.

I am thankful to that man, who told me about hating his mother. He gave me the strength to leave and save my family from the pain.

Monday, January 18, 2010

The road that I'm on is the easiest road to stay on. I'm 27, married, and living comfortably. But I'm being neglected, disrespected, and slowly becoming emotionally numb.

The road less traveled has brought me to the love of my life, from another country, who is my best friend and would treat me so much better.

I sleep next to my husband each night after I tell my "boyfriend" that I love him. The guilt is overbearing and the worst part of my life right now.


Thursday, January 7, 2010

l'm at a big crossroads and don't know what to do.

My husband is impotent. We can't have sex anymore, at least not penetration. l'm 10 years younger than him, and in the prime of my sexual life.

He's suggested l could have a 'friend with benefits', but part of me is scared this will hurt him and our marriage so much. l love him more than anyone, but l don't know if l can last the next 20 years with no sex. Am l being selfish even thinking this could be a solution?

Saturday, November 28, 2009

My personal crossroads is going to family court and conferming your a bad mother. I love you, I do but you always chose him over me and I let you do that. No more me and dad are getting me placed here, I'm not going to be abused by your husband anymore!


Sunday, November 8, 2009

My personal crossroads was getting pregnant at 17 years old. There are so many horror stories about teenagers getting pregnant. But my son was the best thing that ever happened to me. Making the decision to settle down and be a good mom to him was the most amazing and beneficial decision I have ever made.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

My personal crossroad is when you asked me to homecoming. I was so happy that someone actually asked me for once, but I was scared to let you in you could me. Please don't hurt me.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

yesterday i stayed up till 5 in the morning talking to my best friend who i had let go of, pushed away, and forced myself to get over. i didn't want him in my life anymore. we always fight, we always make up. and when we made up this time after it went further than either of us wanted it to, i still couldn't help wonder how long it would be till we fought again. but this time i've made a decision. i love him and if we do fight, i won't let it split us up. because the thing is, we always come back to each other. "don't be with someone you can live with, be with someone you can't live without". and we obviously can't live without each other, we don't NEED each other, we want each other in our lives. only this is.. i still don't know what else we're looking for.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Two weeks after we had broken off a one and a half year relationship, my best friend had sex with my ex. She has always been rather selfish and putting casual affairs before the feelings of other people has always been a habit of hers. I just never thought she would do that to me.

I thought that she loved me because she kept saying she did. I thought that she understood me because she was always putting words to my emotions before I knew how to myself. I thought that nothing could ever come between us. She was my rock and my mentor, someone to turn to when things got tough beyond comprehension and there was nothing to do but lean against her and hope I would be okay. She was there but she used it against me. She would always make me feel bad for not being as harsh or as outspoken. With a glance or a quick phrase she could make me feel like a fake. Even so, she always stood beside me. Over the years, she came to mean more to me than my family and that particular boyfriend. We grew together like vines. And I kept telling myself that it was worth it.

But she knew it would break my heart and she did it anyway. She valued cheap, drunken sex with a guy she didn't care about higher than our friendship. And then she went on to acting as if it wasn't a big deal.

I made the decision not to forgive her. I gathered up the pieces, said my goodbyes, and left. Skipped town, erased her number. It was the hardest thing I have ever done but I know I'm a stronger person for it. Each day is a battle but for the first time I'm winning more than I'm losing. And I'm a better person without her.

Female, 20.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Finding that picture on his phone - the one of the friend he "Wasn't" sleeping with. When he said he was done cheating on me. The pictures of her pregnant, nude, body... Knowing that he was more attracted to her than he was to me.

I left less than 24 hours later.
My personal crossroad came about a year an a half ago when the man of my dreams turned into my worst nightmare and I had to run. I left everything behind except what I could fit into a bag and set out to parts unknown. Thanks to the kindness of a not-to-be-revealed relative, I'm now finishing my college degree and turning my dead-end life. I have nine months left before my new life begins and I will no longer pin my dreams on other people.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Everyone i knew was telling me to change. i always said i wouldn't change for anyone, but i was so unhappy. i literally couldn't imagine finishing the year there, figured i'd kill myself first. so i changed.

and the last 6 months of that year were the best of my entire life. and i would give the world to go back and relive that year.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The police had come to end one of a string of arguments that had become physical. His mom stopped him from slamming my head into a brick wall. The police recommended that we go for a drive, leave the children with his Mom and work things out. I got in my car with him and it wouldn't start. He pulled my distributor wire out of his pocket and said "you weren't going anywhere." At that moment I knew I had to get away. I went home the next day and two weeks later he was served with a restraining order and divorce papers. Many many years later we are cordial, the children are grown. They say he is a different man, but I know the truth.

Monday, January 5, 2009

I couldn't wait to get out. I hated growing up in my hometown, going to school in my hometown, and going to college in my hometown. Once I had my degree, I was outta there. Or so I thought. In my final semester at college, I had a job offer that would keep me in this small midwestern community. I dismissed it at first -- this would ruin my chance to get out and go to the big city (Chicago, Minneapois, New York or anywhere but here). But someone special to me that I had met in collge settled here. My family was here. So, I rationalized that I would accept the job for a short amount of time, get some experience, and then relocate and fulfill my dreams later.

Well, it's 20 years later, and I'm still here. And I don't regret a single moment of it. I married that someone special and we started a wonderful family. That entry level job opened up unbelievable opportunities for me with other local firms. We have a great house that we'd never be able to afford in a big city, and are able to travel often. So maybe someday I'll eventually make it out of here, retiring to a larger metro area -- but for now, there really is no place like home.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.


You came to a fork in the road and were forced to make a decision that would alter the path your life would take. Once decided there was no turning back. Which direction did you choose? How did it work out for you? Anonymously post your journey below by clicking on "comments". Then check back daily -- entries are usually posted within 24-48 hours.